13 Hilarious Jokes About Bad Dates You’ll Laugh About Forever

13 Jokes About Bad Dates

1.
I once had a date so bad, even the waiter gave me a pity discount.

2.
He showed up in sweatpants and called it his “formal athleisure.”

3.
She spent the whole date talking about her ex. I spent the whole date planning my exit.

4.
He asked if I wanted to split the bill — and then Venmo’d me for his Uber home.

5.
She said she wasn’t “into labels” — during dinner at a designer handbag-themed restaurant.

6.
Our date was going great until he confessed he lived with his mom… and her six cats… and a turtle named “Stepdad.”

7.
I thought it was a dinner date. She thought it was a multi-level marketing pitch.

8.
He spent the whole date bragging about his crypto portfolio. I spent it Googling how to fake an emergency call.

9.
She said she loved spontaneous guys. Then got mad when I suggested we leave halfway through.

10.
Blind date. Blind optimism. Blinded by the horror.

11.
He brought his own Tupperware to the restaurant… for leftovers from my plate.

12.
She told me she was “spiritually married” to her cat. I didn’t even get visitation rights.