50 More Dating Jokes That’ll Make You Swipe Right Part 2
1.
Dating is just two people asking each other, “Are you normal?” over coffee… forever.
2.
I asked my date what they did for fun. They said, “Cancel plans.” Instant soulmate.
3.
I told my date I was financially stable. Stable… like a horse stable — full of hay and bad decisions.
4.
Dating is the only game where ghosting is considered a valid move.
5.
First dates are like job interviews, except you’re not sure who’s more underqualified.
6.
They said they wanted someone spontaneous. I canceled mid-date — you’re welcome.
7.
My dating profile says “outdoorsy,” but what I mean is: I like patios… with nachos.
8.
They asked if I liked adventures. So I told them about my last blind date — now that’s a horror story.
9.
Love is blind. So are most of my date choices.
10.
Dating apps: where you judge people faster than you judge avocados at the grocery store.
11.
I like long walks on the beach… to escape awkward first dates.
12.
Modern dating: when you both swipe right and then proceed to never speak.
13.
Dating advice: lower your standards. No, lower. Keep going… there you go.
14.
If dating has taught me anything, it’s that I should’ve invested in cats sooner.
15.
Dating profile said “athletic” — they meant once… in 2011… for a 5K they walked.
16.
They said they loved dogs. They didn’t mention they were a dog — metaphorically speaking.
17.
What’s dating in 2025 like? It’s texting for six weeks and ghosting before the first meeting.
18.
I’m not single. I’m just in a committed relationship with bad decisions.
19.
They said they were “looking for something serious.” I said, “Have you considered taxes?”
20.
My love life is like my phone’s battery — low and draining fast.
21.
Dates are just interviews where both sides lie and hope for the best.
22.
They wanted “no drama.” So I pretended I wasn’t dramatic for an hour. Exhausting.
23.
Dating tip: If they still use their ex’s Netflix account, run.
24.
My idea of flirting is awkward eye contact and immediately regretting it.
25.
All my dating goals are simple: don’t get catfished, don’t get ghosted, don’t order the most expensive thing.
26.
Dating apps should come with a return policy.
27.
Relationships are great until you realize you have to agree on what to watch forever.
28.
My last date said they were into “deep conversations.” Turns out they meant conspiracy theories.
29.
Every date ends the same: me wondering how much Uber costs to escape.
30.
They said they were “an open book.” Turns out it was a horror novel.
31.
Why date one person when you can disappoint five at the same time?
32.
Dating: the art of finding someone whose baggage matches yours.
33.
They said they were “spontaneous” — forgot to mention they were also “unemployed.”
34.
I want a relationship like my Wi-Fi: strong and uninterrupted.
35.
First dates should be two minutes long. Like, are we vibing or not?
36.
They said they love “long-term investments.” I think they were talking about Pokémon cards.
37.
My dating life is like a bakery — lots of rolls, no buns.
38.
Dating is just extreme speed-reading through someone’s red flags.
39.
They said they didn’t want drama — yet they had six exes listed as “roommates.”
40.
The real MVP of dating is the waiter who pretends not to judge you for being stood up.
41.
He said he was emotionally available — like Blockbuster in 2025.
42.
I don’t need relationship advice. I need a nap and a burrito.
43.
My dating app bio? “Looking for someone who doesn’t ask me what my biggest weakness is.”
44.
Dates are like fireworks: overhyped and often disappointing.
45.
I brought my cat on a date. She handled the rejection for me.
46.
They said they were “self-made.” I didn’t realize they meant self-delusional.
47.
I treat dating apps like I treat terms of service — scroll fast and hope for the best.
48.
Modern dating is like ordering a pizza and getting a salad.
49.
They said “no games” — then treated me like a side quest.
50.
Finding love is hard. Finding someone who texts back is harder.
